Nonsenses of a Madhouse

$thedailywhat: Purple Squirrel of the Day: A purple squirrel caught by a couple in Jersey Shore, PA, has cryptozoologists scratching their heads. Connie Emert says she told her husband Percy that a purple squirrel had been getting into their bird feeders, but he didn’t believe her. Sunday around noon he checked their rodent trap, “and sure enough, there it was.” The Emerts claim they had nothing to do with the animal’s unusual color. Several theories have been put forth, including the possibility that the squirrel fell into a port-a-potty or got into some ink or paint. But Lock Haven University professor Krish Pillai suggested that something more sinister might be afoot. “That color looks very much like Tyrian purple,” Pillai said. “It is a natural organobromide compound seen in molluscs and rarely found in land animals. The squirrel has too much bromide in its system possibly from all the bromide laced frack water it’s been drinking. I would raise the alarm. This could mean bladder cancer for humans down the road.” A similar squirrel was spotted in the UK in 2008. [accuweather / dpaf.]$

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thedailywhat:

Purple Squirrel of the Day: A purple squirrel caught by a couple in Jersey Shore, PA, has cryptozoologists scratching their heads.

Connie Emert says she told her husband Percy that a purple squirrel had been getting into their bird feeders, but he didn’t believe her. Sunday around noon he checked their rodent trap, “and sure enough, there it was.”

The Emerts claim they had nothing to do with the animal’s unusual color. Several theories have been put forth, including the possibility that the squirrel fell into a port-a-potty or got into some ink or paint.

But Lock Haven University professor Krish Pillai suggested that something more sinister might be afoot.

“That color looks very much like Tyrian purple,” Pillai said. “It is a natural organobromide compound seen in molluscs and rarely found in land animals. The squirrel has too much bromide in its system possibly from all the bromide laced frack water it’s been drinking. I would raise the alarm. This could mean bladder cancer for humans down the road.”

A similar squirrel was spotted in the UK in 2008.

[accuweather / dpaf.]